Bleh.

I don't really feel like writing a blog post today, but as I promised myself I would write one a week, I will do so anyway.

Not much to report. Work has been hectic. Construction on the new (old) house my boyfriend and I bought started on Tuesday. Book two is moving along splendidly.

That is when I actually get a moment to sit down and write...and it doesn't end with me staring at the computer screen.

Like now.

THIS IS MY ATTEMPT

At a multi-media blog post. Should be simple, riiiight? Let's hope my internet skills don't fail me. Fingers crossed.

Anyway. 

Today I would like to share some of the musical inspirations behind "Benajah's Keeper." I wouldn't go so far as to say that it's a soundtrack--I originally tried to find a song for each chapter, didn't work.  I will say that if the book were ever produced into another medium (movie, nudge nudge), these are the songs/artists I would hope/beg/demand were included. 

Either way, each of these songs have significant value. To me they not only represent Evanna, her comrades, and many of the themes woven throughout the book, but they have pulled me out of numerous writing ruts. Sometimes all it takes is a listen. And I think that's just great.   

So here we go, kind-of-sort-of in listening order:

1) Spectrum- Florence + the Machine; Ceremonials

This song pretty much sums up how I imagine Genesis. Oddly enough, I wrote that bit way before I heard this song, and if I'm being honest, I really hated the song originally. But the more I listened to it, the more I identified with it. Or, I guess, the more I identified the story with it? 

I should note that Florence is probably my most favorite performer/musical act right now. I'm kind of obsessed. The fact that I chose one of my least favorite songs of hers for this list...yeah, she just that awesome. 

"When we first came here,

We were cold and we were clear

With no colors on our skin,

We were light and paper-thin.

And when we first came here,

We were cold and we were clear

With no colors on our skin

'Til you let the spectrum in.

Say my name,

And every color illuminates.

We are shining,

And we'll never be afraid again."

2) Half a Week Before the Winter- Vanessa Carlton; Harmonium

Vanessa Carlton is a guilty pleasure of mine. What can I say? I'm a sucker for piano. Side note: the other day a girl at worked asked who sang "A Thousand Miles" (legitimately did not know). I was flabbergasted, mostly because that song is SO overplayed. But then I thought about it...and realized that I'm old. That song came out when I was in 8th or 9th grade. Lame. 

This song, however, is one that you don't hear at every grocery store or home improvement center on a daily basis (ahem). It's a bit haunting in sound, different from her more pop-y stuff. And I feel like it's a good introduction to Keeper and Evanna. Kind of sums up their relationship. 

"He sits behind a desk of mahogany,

He whispers dreams into my ear.

And though I've given him his empire, 

He delivers me my fear."

3) Scarborough Fair

This is really just a general suggestion. I'm not a big fan of the Simon and Garfunkel version (even though it's the one I'm linking), and ultimately, if I had my way, Florence would be doing a cover. But that's a long shot. 

I mentioned it last post, but this is the song that gives Messiah his last name. I've always been fond of it--I used to drive my parents nuts playing it over and over and over on the piano. That and Greensleeves, but I digress. No matter what version, male or female vocalist, etc... the important part about this old folk song are the lyrics. Two people have been separated and only a series of impossible tasks will bring them back together. And it's wistful in a lost love/memory sort of way, so there's that.

I imagine this playing in most of the dream sequences, in case you were wondering. 

"Are you going to Scarborough Fair?

Parlsey, sage, rosemary, and thyme.

Remember me to the lass who goes there,

For she was once a true love of mine."

4) A really awesome mashup

Again, just a general suggestion, but if someone were to make mashup of Katy Perry's "ET," Lady Gaga's "Monster," and Ke$ha's "Blow," the end result would be the music playing at the club/party that Evanna first meets Rian and Messiah. Despite being pop, all three songs have characteristics that remind of Rian. Being fun helps, too. 

So who loves me enough to do it? 

Instead, I give you this mashup:

psilovemashups

5) Fear and Loathing- Marina and the Diamonds; Electra Heart

A friend of mine turned me on to Marina and the Diamonds. If you haven't given her a listen, I highly recommend it. So fun. 

Fear and Loathing is one of her more "mellow" songs, for lack of a better term. I love the message, the sound. Pretty much everything. Oh and I love that I can literally hear the words coming from my characters. Like a good heart to heart between Zak and Evanna. 

"I've lived a lot of different lives,

Been different people many times.

I live my life in bitterness

And fill my heart with emptiness."

and

"Got different people inside my head.

I wonder which one that they like best.

I'm done with trying to have it all

and ending up with not much at all."

6) Daylight- Matt and Kim; Grand

That "punk-peppered" music Messiah is such a fan of? Well, this is it. To me Matt and Kim embody what is Messiah. Genial, fun, free, a bit of reckless abandon. He might be a little rough around the edges (the "starving" artist appeal shall we say?), but really when it comes down to it, he's got his shit together and he knows what he wants. 

You can thank the Bicardi commercial for this gem, by the way. 

7) Never Let Me Go- Florence + the Machine; Ceremonials

Aaaand we're back to Florence. But the imagery is just too good to resist.

"And it's breaking over me.

A thousand miles down to the sea bed,

Found the place to rest my head.

Never let me go, never let me go.

Never let me go, never let me go.

And the arms of the ocean are carrying me, 

And all this devotion was rushing out of me.

And the crashes are heaven, for a sinner like me,

But the arms of the ocean deliver me." 

8) Existentialism on Prom Night- Straylight Run; Straylight Run

This is probably my all time favorite song. I can think of a million and one reasons why I love it so much, but when I list them they seem silly. I will say that I am a big fan of Existentialism. Most people find it a very pessimistic stand point; I find it uplifting.

I imagine this song playing the morning Evanna wakes up in Messiah's house, at a time when she's caught in between her life at Benajah and her life in the "human world." A bit of reflection, perhaps?

"When the sun came up,

We were sleeping in,

Sunk inside our blankets, sprawled across the bed,

And we were dreaming.

There are moments when,

When and I know it and the world revolves around us.

And we're keeping it, keeping it all going,

This delicate balance,

Vulnerable, all knowing.

Sing like you think know one's listening.

You would kill for this, 

Just a little bit, just a little bit.

You would kill for this."

9) Degausser- Brand New; The Devil and God Are Raging Inside Me

Oh, Brand New, how you do me in. When you're not being scream-o (exhibit A) half the songs on "Daisy"), you have such emotionally jarring music (exhibit B) most of the songs on Devil and God). And I can't get enough of it. 

Degausser is such a poignant piece of music to me. It makes my skin crawl. It gives me chills. It's dream crushing and heart wrenching and...okay, you get it. 

This song would play as *spoiler* Evanna drags Rian's body through the trees and ultimately dumps him off the cliff. Can you hear it?

"Take me, take me back to your bed.

I love you so much that it hurts my head.

I don't mind you under my skin,

I'll let the bad parts in, the bad parts in.

Well, you're my favorite bird and when you sing,

I really do wish that you'd wear my ring.

No matter what they say, I am still the king.

And now the storm in coming, the storm is coming in." 

10) Blue Lips- Regina Spektor; Far

We wrap up with Regina Spektor. There is a plethora of Regina songs that inspire me (ex: Samson), but this one resonates with me the most. To me, "Blue Lips" is about being human. The ups, the downs. Moments of strength and moments of weakness. And if "Benajah's Keeper" is about anything, it's about learning to accept all of these things. And so, I give you the "credits" song.

"He stumbled into faith and thought,

God, this is all there is?

The pictures in his mind arose

And began to breathe.

And all the gods and all the worlds

Began colliding on a back drop of blue.

Blue lips, blue veins."

So what do you guys think? Are there any songs that remind you of Evanna's plight? If so, I'd love to hear them!




PS This is the song that's driving book #2 right now. Because I feel like throwing all the "when is the next one coming out???" commenters a bone. Not much of one, but hey, it's something.

THERE IS NOTHING AS IMPORTANT

As a good name. Okay, that might be a little over exaggerated. There are lots of important things that go into good story telling/writing. However, I'm not kidding when I say that names are pretty close to the top of that list for me. A name should make sense. It shouldn't be chosen simply because it looks good, especially if it looks weird next to all the other names in a book (I once read a book where the main character's name was Raven and her younger brother was Billy. Drove. Me. Crazy.).  It should help build the character. It should mean something.

Though I'm fairly new at this author thing (I still choke on the word...), one of the questions that I consistently get asked is, "Where did you come up with all the names?" As this is a subject I am so passionate about, I figured I might fill you all in.

First, I should say that my biggest aid was a book I found on Amazon called "Best Exotic Baby Names" by Allison Jones. This is seriously the best name book I've found, despite not being very long. It's loosely set up by alphabet and gender, but for each name it not only gives the origin but the root of the name, the derivatives, and their meaning. For instance the name 'Nikoteleia' is listed under 'Teleia'. Teleia = pefection. Nike = victory. Nikoteleia = pefect victory. The only problem with this is that I often lose names...it just took me 5 minutes find that and I've looked it up a hundred times.

But not all of the names came from this gold mine. Several of the names that appear in the final, published version of "Benajah's Keeper" are the same as they were in the very first draft. That's not to say their characters didn't change drastically. Here are some examples:

Zak: The original Zak was nothing like the one that guides Evanna through her journey in "Benajah's Keeper." In fact, he was total fluff. He was the tag along friend of Tierra, more or less a female version of the Zak we know today. When I revisited the story four years later, I came to the conclusion that Evanna simply didn't need two vampire friends. Especially because she didn't really want any friends at all...

Rian: I'm fairly sure that I chose the name Rian originally because I had a crush on a kid named Ryan. Highschool, you know? And it was soooo edgy to change the spelling. Turns out Rian is a legitimate name, meaning 'king.' Rian's last name was originally Doreland, a name I'm pretty sure I made up. When finalizing the characters, I began to look for a more meaningful last name for my villain; I stumbled upon Delmar, which means 'of the sea.' And it just worked with the ocean imagery, the circularity of the story, while maintaining the same sort of sound. Boom, Rian Delmar, King of the Sea.

The Scarboroughs: Messiah was always Messiah. Noelle was always Noelle. Lucky for me their names just fit. In the first draft, however, Noelle and Evanna had their first spiff in the family owned fish and chips restaurant. I believe the chapter ended with something like, "Messiah, get away from her. She's a vampire." Very dramatic.

Like most of the characters in the book, neither Noelle or Messiah had last names at first. I chose Scarborough almost entirely based on the traditional ballad "Scarborough Fair." If you are not familiar with the song GO LISTEN TO IT NOW. Educate yourself. You'll be thankful.

Keeper: I'm throwing him in here for the hell of it. The 'Keeper' of Benajah was always called 'Keeper,' he just didn't originally have a name other than that. As the story grew, it became necessary that he gain one. And so Abram--meaning 'high father'--came into being.

That's pretty much it for characters that kept their original names, but here are a few more insights:

-Solada did not exist in the first version. Nor did Serah or Nikoteleia. Between the three of them, the remaining parts of the original character Tierra (minus Zak's bit) were divided.

-I did not decide on the name of Benajah until very late into the rewrite. Even after I had narrowed it down, I bounced between several names before making it the official name of Evanna's home.

-Asael was originally named Gabriel. The meaning of Asael ('God has created') just fit better. That's not to say we won't be seeing a Gabriel later...

-Many of the fluffier names in the book (like Messiah's "long list of girls") are real(ish) people. Rachelle, Danielle, Jessica, Alyssa, Dave, even Emilia. Tannon was a kid in my gym class. The name Serah comes from a combination of Serry and Sarah, two good friends of mine. One of them is even a red head.

-Evanna (versus Wrenna) was the hardest character to name. In the first draft, she was deemed Ebony Flame/Flammette. That was the first thing to go, though it was not for a very long time that she got a new [vampire] name. I'm not sure where I first heard the name. I might have just randomly stumbled upon during one of my internet searches (the kind that alway scare my family and boyfriend). It might have been when I became aware of Evanna Lynch, the actress who plays Luna Lovegood (my favorite Harry Potter character). Whatever it was, I'm just happy I found it.

Until next time...

WELL HELLO THERE

Aren't you looking darling? Why, yes, I am well. Thanks for asking. Yourself?

Alright, enough of that. Sorrynotsorry for the extended hiatus, I've been a busy monkey. My boyfriend and I just bought a house, and while we've only owned it for just over a week, it's already eating up my remaining time and brain power. Mostly my brain power. I keep joking at work, saying that nobody is going to want to visit us back in Kitchens--customers or associates--because we will soon be the grumpiest members of the store. My coworker is about to have a baby (well, his girlfriend is...) and is also in the process of moving and renovating. I'm not sure which is more stressful. Either way, you get the picture.

So this long awaited post stems from this question: What is your first memory of books? Those of you who know me, know that I am full of anecdotes and stories, that I generally have an oddly specific memory of events. So, if I'm honest, my first memory might be of my mom reading "Goodnight Moon" or "Love You Forever" (she even sang the song), but I think a much better story is how I learned to read.

Elementary school was an interesting experience for me. I loved it, don't get me wrong. I just realize that not every kindergartener called her teacher by her first name, in a school housed in a...well, house...with approximately 42 students. I also realize that not many children are encouraged to be different, think outside of the government mandated box, or actually enjoyed going to school like I did. While this is all well and good, it puts me a little out of touch with how everyone else learned to read. So if this sounds like something totally normal, I'm sorry.

Learning to read at Mulberry School (complete with mulberry bush out front) went something like this: every week we walked down to the public library and selected a book. Over the course of the week, we took the book home and worked with our parents on our reading skills. At the end of the week, our teacher would have an individual sit down with each one of us, and we would show her our progress by reading out loud.

My favorite book to check out was "Sarah's Unicorn." In short, it was about this girl, Sarah, who befriends a unicorn named Oakhorn. There's something about an evil aunt who wants to steal Oakhorn, but I can't really remember. It's been awhile.

Anyway, I loved this book so much, I memorized it. I fooled my mom, my dad, even myself, into thinking that I knew how to read (but really, what is reading but fast remembering???). I did not, however, fool my teacher. Mostly because, as I am apt to do in these sorts of situations, I came down with a serious case of stage fright. My young self miiiight (no way in Hell...) have gotten away with it, if she hadn't gotten too creative with the story. I think at some point Sarah and Oakhorn may have gone flying off into the sunset.

Duh, Aeryn. Unicorns don't fly. That's Pegasus. And my second favorite book to check out from the library at age 5. I'm sensing a theme here...

Now that I really think about it, I have some pretty excellent stories from Mulberry. Maybe I will share them in time. They are just not the same without hand motions and actually hearing my tangential interjections. Maybe I'll start a vlog? Would anyone be into that? Does anyone care that it would have terrible editing? Probably.

SO THIS MORNING...

...I totally had a "I should write a blog post about that" moment. Now that I have time to sit down and write one, of course, I've forgotten. I have vague, transient thoughts on what that idea may have been but nothing concrete. Instead I'll just fill you in on my week.

It was my birthday this week (1-2-3!). I turned 25. I officially feel adult-ish, and I'm not really sure why. I've been out of school for almost 3 years. Had an actual apartment for that long, too. I have a full-time job. All adult-ish things. Yet, turning over my 24th year definitely felt like something. Weird.

So, to celebrate I did a couple things. I dyed my hair--the first time in 3 years. It might not be a coincidence that that number matches up with my first adult like behaviors. Or it might be that after trying to dye my hair blond (while being red headed) fried it so badly, I thought it might need a break. Either, really. But it's red AND blonde now--ombre style! So take that world!

My friends and I had a nice country style sort of dinner that included fried chicken, mashed potatoes, and packet gravy (not proud of that one but still tasty). That was nice. And delicious. Kudos where deserved there.

Lastly, probably most prolifically, I posted Benajah's Keeper for free on Kindle. And holy crap, it was a success. I was planning on having maybe 100 downloads. 500 was like my "wouldn't it be great" daydream. By the end of the 5 days it was listed, the book had 2,830 downloads...from all around the world.

I'm not posting this number to brag. Hell, I don't even know if it's something that one should be as proud of as I am. I'm putting this out there because I am simply blown away.

Now, I realize that not every single one of those users is going to read my book. Some of them may have downloaded it simply because it is Kindle-lendable, and there is some benefit to them doing this. (Note: I did this on purpose. People are going to pirate shit no matter what...) But some portion of them ARE going to read it, and that's freaking awesome.

All in all, a good birthday, folks. Thanks so much for your support and readership! It couldn't be done without you.

TO AVOID STEPHENIE MEYERS-ISMS

You just don't do them?

I was reading this blog post earlier. In it, Sneaky mentions that it's ludicrous to write something "post-apocalyptic" in nature that takes place only 8 years in the future. I completely, one hundred percent, agree. I'll even go as far to say, unless you are more than familiar with a place--be it a city, a popular shopping mall, or your backyard--don't make a point of describing it in detail. It can only lead to misplaced assumptions and mistakes...or as I like to call them "Stephenie Meyers-isms."

One thing that was consistently commented on during my publishing process (meaning editing, beta readers, and the "editorial evaluation" I completed before deciding "Benajah's Keeper" was actually ready to publish) was the indistinct setting. The novel is obviously set in the present century, there's a city, a coastline somewhere near by, and a somewhat hilly landscape. Other than that, pretty non-descript.

To be very clear, I did this on purpose. Here's why:

I grew up in central Illinois, in a town that has some identity issues. The first, foremost issue stems from the fact that Bloomington is being amoeba-ed (yes, that is a verb, I swear) by the younger, better looking Normal (and yes, that is it's name). By themselves Bloomington and Normal fall well with in the "small Midwest town" category. Together, however, the result is something near a Chicago suburb with all the chain retailers and restaurants you could desire, the headquarters of State Farm Insurance, and two four year universities--not counting the community colleges. The second issue? We are two hours--a boring, flat drive--away from Chicago, the nearest major city.

Ever since I can remember I've been saying that when I went away to college, I would get as far away as I could from that "Bible-beating, close-minded town." When it came down to it, both of my final choices were almost exactly twelve hours away, but it opposite directions.

The first was Savannah College of Art and Design in Georgia. I really liked this school, really liked the setting. I did not, however, enjoy being blown off by the equestrian coach and the school's recent issues with accreditation (to be more specific, it was my professor parents that did not like this part...). Alfred University in New York's Southern Tier, however, treated me with respect an all accounts, offered me a scholarship in a competitive art program, and even had a student boarding program at their brand new equestrian center. It was perfect, minus the fact that the entire town of Alfred has less 6,000 people--including students.

Don't get me wrong, Alfred is beautiful. If trading a six month winter for a picturesque Autumn and a glorious, though shy, Spring and Summer is something you don't mind, it's the place for you. For many, it's not.

It's the people of Alfred that put it on the map, so to speak. You don't find the odd mix of artists, engineers, foreigners, highly educated, and grossly undereducated people anywhere else with a similar population. Or, at least, I challenge you to show me one.

To come back to the point of this post, I make the point that these two places and their surrounding areas are really the only locations I have experienced "in full." The saying goes, "you write what you know." That's good and fine, but what I know isn't exactly relatable. Trust me, I've tried explaining certain qualities of home to people in New York and vice versa...it always goes over with a "ya'll crazy" sort of mentality.

I will say that there are DEFINITE pieces of Illinois in "Benajah's Keeper," but there are just as many bits of Alfred. Simply making the story happen in only one of those locations just wasn't an option. Plus, I needed a city type environment...or at least one with a little more hustle and bustle than little 'ol Alfred, NY.

I can see how initially this might be jarring to the reader. Not having a set place or distinct time can leave someone hanging out in limbo, but I still maintain that it was the right decision. Especially when considering what I could have done: make shit up.

This is something that drives me crazy. Also something I'm fairly susceptible as a reader. Doing research about an area of interest within your novel is fine. I'm not saying you shouldn't write about something you know nothing about initially...I would be a damned hypocrite if that's what I meant (Note: How do you kill a vampire? Any damn way you want!). But you should know there's a fair chance that someone is going to take whatever you write as fact.

I call Stephenie Meyers out on this all the time. My parents are from the Seattle area, and after talking to them about the legends/general characteristics Meyers writes into the "Twlight" books, they laughed. Dead serious. When they were dragged to Forks by my youngest sister on a vacation to the Pacific Northwest, they rolled their eyes. However lasseiz-faire their reactions, it does not excuse that Meyers invented histories for real people, that have their own set of legends, morals, etc...

Stephenie Meyers isn't the only one that does this, mind you. Many authors do, she's just the one that comes to mind and the most fitting example for this blog.

I'll admit I started this post some days ago, and I have totally lost my train of thought. Thusly, this has turned into rambling, ranting, and raving--not performed particularly well. But, hey, I wrote a post. That's something, right?

I WISH A WAS A BETTER BLOGGER

But do I, really? No. While I see the value of blogging, I feel like there are so many more things on which my time could be spent. Such as reading. Or making jewelry. Or writing (yes, I realize that blogging is technically writing).

Whining done. Content appear.

As I've mentioned before, writing is not my only hobby (I use that word lightly). The reason I mention this? Because I am constantly confronted with decisions based on how I use my time. Whether it be refilling my stock of handmade jewelry, experimenting with photographic and printmaking processes, making candles, or writing, time is always on my heels. I even had a patron at a store opening a couple weeks ago look at me--after reviewing my work and hearing on my recently published book--ask me point blank if I had any "free time."

Maybe this is where I've gone wrong. Maybe not. All of these things I do are justified as activities I do in my "free time." I keep my prices low, don't concern myself with the dollar amount I make on each book I sell, or worry about how much I am earning/paying myself hourly for these "tasks" because they are done in my free time. And, if anything, shouldn't free time be FREE?

Sure, it may not pay the bills...yet...but I enjoy it. People enjoy my work. I enjoy people enjoying my work. A good step toward nirvana, eh?

Minus the frustration that I never have enough of it. Yes, I could manage my time better. I could narrow my scope of projects. But would I be happy? Probably not. Would I like more time? Hell, yes. Plus, I kind of like being that multi-faceted friend that everyone kind of wants to strangle...

Really what has made me tell you all of this, what is at the root of this post, is something another blogger recently wrote. While I can't find the actual post, the author wrote something along the lines of "You are only as good of a writer as the last books you've read." This caught my attention because, as writing has not been the topmost item on my list of many to-dos, I've been reading much more lately.

I'm the first to admit that what I read affects what and how I write. I try to avoid vampire type stories when I'm in the thick of it. For example, this summer HBO's "True Blood" nearly sent me into a spiral of self-degredation and despair. Really, except for minor, tangential details "Benajah's Keeper" is nothing like the Sookie Stackhouse novels. Another good one? After reading "The Hunger Games" trilogy (twice over in the course of 3 days), I could not stop writing in present tense. It took a good long while to shake that one.

Please don't take this as I am easy manipulated or have a weak sense of voice. I blame years of parrot-ing knowledge--the only way to survive at my job. I just absorb things like that.

So I began to think over the last couple books I've read. Nothing too serious, for sure. My friend who works at the local library brought home some donated YA books that I snatched up in an instant, including Cate Tiernan's "Balefire" series.

Now, I looooooved her "Sweep" series in high school, a scary six years ago. But I also loooooooooved "The Animorphs" at age ten. Needless to say, perception is everything.

So I started this four book saga with nostalgic hope. And cheese and rice, it was terrible. Like really, really awful. Being me, I finished all the books, though sorely disappointed (it's very rare that I don't finish a book...it has to seriously disturb me or bore me to death).

Afterwards I realized this is the shit (for lack of a better word) with which I've been filling my precious free time. PRECIOUS FREE TIME. As old as it makes me feel, I think I can officially say I am DONE with YA literature. There's just too much fluff...and seriously if one more girl falls in love with some awesomely hott guy for ABSOLUTELY NO FUCKING REASON one more time, I might take drastic measures.

I'm not saying the romance portion of my plot is perfect, but I can guarantee that I agonized over it. The "Why does he love her?" and several other similar phrases are questions I constantly ask myself. And yes, sometimes it ultimately does not matter why. But I feel, as a responsible creator of these characters, I should ask myself the same questions they should be asking themselves.

Needless to say, I've moved on to more "adult" literature--not to say that I haven't read my fair share of age appropriate novels. I'm currently reading "Cloud Atlas" and love it so far. It's wonderful to see the different uses of language and dialect. Plus, the motifs and interconnectivity within all the story lines are wonderful.

But more on that later...when I've finished reading.